WEIRD, SCHMEIRD

A couple of my favorite bloggers recently wrote about their kids being "WEIRD." {Here & Here}Which got me thinking, kids and weirdness seem to go hand-in-hand, right!?!? Judge for yourself.......

-The other night Chase insisted on playing "Fancy Restaurant." So, I got to order gourmet (frozen) pizza off my menu (a Curious George Book.) My waiter (Chase) promptly brought over my piping hot dinner (cold actually, because it took so long to set up the "restaurant") dropping it on the floor only once on the way over. I love being waited on! I enjoyed my meal on our finest linens (Chase's stinky buddy blankie was our "tablecloth") in the dark (because fancy restaurants are "dark!" I *almost* pointed out that they usually have candles. Phew, good thing I dodged that bullet!) What a FABULOUS meal!

-Dylan's new favorite activity is taking the dog for a walk. "But, you don't have a dog," you're thinking. Nope, no we don't. So, Dylan just tugs me around by my finger ALL. DAY. LONG!! If my finger isn't available, my shirt works too!

-While scarfing down a corn dog last night, Chase sat pondering for a minute and announced, "You know what Mommy, I am on the Kid Diet! Only Kid Foods for me!" This isn't really news to me. But I thought it was funny that it created a new "diet" for himself.

-Most of what goes in Dylan's mouth comes out, and back in, then out again, and finally either he decides to actually swallow it or he puts the whole goobery, slimy mess in MY hand. Mmmmm!

Oh, how I LOVE my little weirdos!

THE ONES I LOVE THE MOST

Why is it that we treat those that we love the most, the worst?

I don't know why this is, necessarily, but it seems that I don't grant my family members any of the courtesies that I would complete strangers. With them I have extremely high expectations, I am impatient, unyielding, intolerant and sometimes down-right nasty. On them, I take out all my frustrations. Funny that in all the parenting books it says that kids tend to save their worst behavior for their parents. It never dawned on me that it also happens the other way around. Sometimes as parents, we save our worst behavior for our children. Shit, mine probably learned to do this from ME! I am confessing here that I am not a very good mommy, not TODAY at least!

Tomorrow I will be better. Tomorrow, I will rid myself of this aura of tension. So that I don't sulk around with my teeth clenched, seething, ready to pounce on anyone who crosses me. Tomorrow, I will be back to myself!

TO BATHE OR NOT TO BATHE?

Just to be clear on this right from the start, my answer is ALWAYS "TO BATHE!!!!" The reason I am posing the question is that sometimes I wonder if it is REALLY worth the effort. I never considered that after having children, catching a 10 minute (okay, lets be honest, it is usually more like 15 or 20 minutes) shower would be such an ordeal. My kids must have a very keen radar at sensing vulnerability.... and shower time is like a total free-for-all!

So, here is how it usually goes down. I figured out quickly that the only hope of getting a minute of peace is to separate the boys. Chase gets a show and I settle him in front of the TV in my bedroom. (Yes, I realize that my pediatrician would recommend a more constructive activity, yada yada, yada!) Then I have to corner Dylan in the bathroom with me ensuring that we have ample toys, food, drink, and his "bankie" just to avoid any mid-shower melt downs. Well, that heads off most of them anyway. I start the shower and do a quick scan for anything he might possible get into trouble with. I push most of the junk on our counter to the way back, out of his reach... or so I think! I make sure all the cabinets and drawers are securely locked and the door the toilet room is shut, TIGHT, we do NOT want him getting in there - YIKES!!!

Okay, I have to start the trickle of water in the sink for the cat to drink (so he doesn't sit and meow at the door the ENTIRE time) and then I jump in. Ahhhhhhhhhh, heavenly, hot steamy water! It feels so good to wash away the grime and the stress of the previous day. The good/relaxing part of my shower usually only lasts about 27 seconds and then I spend the rest of my time peering out the shower door, barking out orders/threats and frantically trying to get what needs to get done, DONE, all while wedging the shower door shut with my heal so that I don't get any uninvited visitors! Dylan usually starts terrorizing the poor cat by pulling his tail or worse, Chase will waltz in and announce that he needs to use the bathroom (and although his is perfectly capable of wiping himself at any other time of the day, he obviously needs my help with this because I am in the shower), Dylan's little curious hands start pulling stuff of the counter (the other day he got his hands on my contact case AND he figured out how to open it, so that brand new pair of contacts bit the dust!), Chase comes in again and announces that so-and-so is on the phone (Why does the WHOLE WORLD call when I am in the shower?), Dylan has injured either his finger, knee or head and is standing outside my shower door sobbing and pointing at his boo-boo. I eventually just abort mission, half way through shaving one leg and turn off the water. I would love to savor those few moments of hot steamy air while I towel off, but Dylan stops crying, delighted that I shut the water off, and flings open the shower door with a huge smile on his face - shoot, I must have moved my heal! I never have the heart to shut it again and just let the cold air flood in and bring me back to reality!

**Side note on the photograph - I always like to include pictures to go with my post. For obvious reasons I took a different strategy with this post and thought I would just find a cute one of the boys in the bath. I had to go back NINE months to find any bath pictures. Can you believe it? What kind of mother do I think I AM???? Oh, the shame........

SCENES OF SUMMER

The crisp, cool air that we are experiencing here in Chicago is NOT typical July weather. (Not complaining... just saying!) It hardly even feels like we have had Summer yet. So, as I was glancing around my house, I had to take some photographic evidence that we are, indeed in the midst of summer.

A BIG FAKER! OR NOT???

I was 45 minutes late to work this morning because I was busy rationalizing (HA) with Chase and trying to sift truth from fiction on whether or not he felt well enough to go to school today. It started last night when Chase woke me and told me that he had a sore throat. Shoot! Darn it! I gave him Tylenol and got him back to bed. He did feel feverish, so I was already ruling out sending him to school today.
But then when he woke up, and I asked him how he felt, he said "Fine!"
Hmmm, strange, "Does your throat hurt?"
"No."
"Great, then you're feeling good enough to go to school!"
It was then that he looked up at me and I could visibly see the wheels turning inside his head. He quickly back-pedaled.
"No, Mama, I think I should stay home today, I'm still stuffy."
"Really, I thought you said you were fine?"
"No, my nose is really stuffy, I want to stay home with you!"
Well, great! What do I do now? The school sort of frowns on bringing sick kids to school, for obvious reasons. But, at 4 1/2, I really don't want him to start pulling the 'ol "sick" card on us and skipping school. There will be plenty of time for that later! :)

Ughh... so I tried a new tactic. I reminded him that it was the much anticipated "Show-And-Tell" day at school, and that all of his friends would be playing outside and doing fun things all day and that if he was indeed sick then he would have to stay in bed, take a nap (or two) and NO playing outside. He miraculously started feeling much better. Good enough, even, to go to school!

I was mentally patting myself on the back....Ha HAAA.... beat him at his own game!
He was fine. Really. And he had a great day at school, I got to hear all about it when I got home.
But then tonight at dinner... only minutes after skipping into the restaurant, smelling the giant black-eyed-susan's along the way, holding the door (like such a little gentleman) for the elderly couple who was slowly making their way into the restaurant, he took a turn for the worse again. He spent the entire meal with his head in Dave's lap refusing to eat any food, complaining that his eye hurt. I assumed he was crying wolf again and harped on him the whole time to sit up and eat his food like a big boy, for pete's sake! Dave noticed though that *the* suspicious yellow goop started appearing in the corners of his eyes. Darn. Seriously? Pink-eye AGAIN! Man, did I feel like a jerk. He really does have pink eye, and maybe he wasn't feeling well all along. It is so hard to tell what is real and what isn't when dealing with a very convincing and often manipulative 4 1/2 year old. I swear, he either has Oscar worthy acting skills already, or very gullible parents..... or maybe a bit of both! Bring on the Clorox.

LITTLE BRUISERS

Dylan. He is *slightly* klutzy. Dave blames my gene pool and I blame his. Lets just say that BOTH our kids are cursed! Poor guy, he busted his lip open again! He somehow manages to trip, fall, and/or bang his head on something about every 5-10 minutes. It seems like I am always swooping him up in my arms and kissing this boo-boo or that scrap. Chase had his share of spills at this age (TRUST ME, remember the gene pool thing), but I just don't remember it being quite this bad. Dylan's forehead, elbows, knees, and shins are just littered with toddler battle scars. On the bright side: he is low to the ground, so there is only a short distance to fall; most boo-boos are healed with a coupla crackers; and he still thinks Mommy's kisser holds magical healing powers.I suppose that the boy's favorite pastime doesn't help the boo-boo tally sheet. Here they are tearing around their racetrack, I mean my kitchen/family room, with their vehicles of choice -Chase with the firetruck, Dylan with the blue pick-up truck. Ahh.. the miles they travel! (Those miles are actually probably wearing groves in my wood floors - but it keeps 'em happy!)Dave spent the weekend darting between his golf course, where they were hosting a big golf tournament, and the Joliet Motor Speedway, because, well..... Nascar was in town! He was extra super pumped about getting pit passes this year so that he could get down in there and check out all the behind-the-scenes action.

Me'Me' and PaPa returned from their two week trip to Canada. Chase was really excited to see them and NOT just because they had lots of gifts in hand - although that never hurts! How could she return from Canada and NOT bring him a couple hockey sticks? Don't they check you at the border for that? Hee Hee!

They had a blast testing out the new equipment. That Me'Me is quite the hockey player, Chase has got a great coach!

ZOO TRIP

Dylan eyeing the elephants. He has the best view in the house from up there!

SLURPEEEE - Does it get any better than this?

Dylan at the Zoo - being a goof!

Chase, giving me a super silly, cheesy smile. It is so hard to take photos of him these days. He is either really irate or acting silly. I will definitely take silly over irate - but STILL! Anyway, I am playing around trying to figure out these digital photo frames. I thought I would quick post a few and see how they look!

MY LITTLE LOVES

"Mommy, I am wearing not 1, not 2, not 5 but TEN pairs of underwear right now!!!!!" Uh, sure enough, he tugged down his shorts and there was a whole lota underwear happening! Wow, so I pealed back the bands of undies and counted them out. He was actually wearing seven, not ten, but STILL! This kid cracks me up....... when he isn't driving me crazy, that is! Just to fill you in, at the moment, Chase can be found doing one of about 5 things. He is either 1)watching Phinneus and Ferb 2) Tormenting his brother 3) Bossing or Sassing me 4) Running around like a WILD maniac 5) Causing mass destruction somewhere! I am trying to be more patient with him, REALLY I AM! But, I just don't know that I am programmed to understand the ins and outs of little-boy-hood. Like the rambunctiousness, the extremely loud VOLUME, the crudeness, the rudeness, the shear energy, the dirt, the silliness. It all sort of rubs me the wrong way..... I just don't get it! But, I am trying, really, really trying to embrace it. Okay embrace may be a stretch, so how about tolerate it without blowing my lid! Any hints or tips on RELAXING, LETTING GO and/or GETTING IN TOUCH WITH MY INNER 4-YR OLD BOY would be greatly appreciated!

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Dylan is currently in this sort of vicious, I mean, endless circle right now. He will be going along just fine until he is denied something that he wants (repeat offenders include: remotes, phones or cell phones (don't even let him get a glimpse of a cell phone or it is game OVER), any sort of tube of lotion or toothpaste, NutriGrain bars (he has what I consider a very unhealthy obsession with NutriGrain bars) or anything that Brother is playing with.) Once he is denied the coveted object of the moment he proceeds to trash, rage, bang his head *HARD* against anything in sight, scream and cry for what feels like eternity but probably only lasts 5 or 10 minutes. We eventually find something to distract him and he is all good again until he denied the next thing. *SIGH* I keep reminding myself that IT IS JUST. A. PHASE. But it does get a little trying. And I am torn about simultaneously WANTING and NOT wanting him to outgrow this phase. Because while he will certainly leave behind some of the BAD behaviors, he will likely also leave some the GOOD - the cute, innocent, sweet stuff that fills my heart with joy and makes me swoon. Like his cheesy little smiles and belly laughs, how he is starting to parrot just about anything you ask him to say (Chase was rolling yesterday when he had Dylan saying "Butt." JOY!), his crazy obsession with his belly button now that Mom has finally stopped putting onesies on him. If only it was possible to ditch the bad stuff (mainly just the totally irrational behavior) without losing the sweet, innocent GOOD stuff.... if only..............

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY

We went to Dave's golf course to watch fire works the other night. What a show! I was really, really impressed. Probably more impressed than Chase, whose only comment on the evening was that they were "really loud." While we were waiting for the sun to set, Chase busied himself making "roads" in one of the sand traps! That kid does love sand. Anyway, we are wishing everyone a happy, healthy, safe and sunny (for those of you that DON'T reside in the Chicagoland area - boo hoo) 4th of July weekend! Enjoy it.